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 You are here > Anuroop > Rituals & Customs > Brahmin wedding

Kokanastha Brahmin Wedding

List of Ceremonies :

1. Engagement:
 2. Vyahi Bhojan: The groom's family invites the bride's family for a meal
 3. Grahamak / Nav Grahi Shanti Puja: Invoking harmony within the planets
 4. Bangdi Bharan: The bangle ceremony
 5. Mehendi: The henna ceremony
 6. Kelvan: The bride's last meal as a maiden in her parental home
 7. Seemant Pujan and Vaang Nischayam: Honouring the groom
 8. Ghana Bharan and Haldi: Beautification rituals
 9. Dev Devak: Divine blessings are sought from the family deity
10. Gauri Haar Puja: The bride performs a 'puja' for Goddess Gauri
11. Varaat: The wedding procession
12. Rukhavat: Breakfast is served to the groom and his close relatives
13. Lagna Mahurat: The wedding ceremony - divided into following segments:
14. a) Varmala: The couple exchanges garlands
15. b) Kanyadaan: Giving away the bride
16. c) Mangalsutra: The groom ties the 'mangalsutra' on the bride
17. d) Paani Grahan: The groom vows to look after his wife
18. e) Lajja Hom: Sacrifice offered to the sacred fire
19. f) Saptapadi: Seven steps around the sacred fire
20. g) Ashirwaad: The blessing
21. Wedding feast: Traditional meal served on banana leaves
22. Vidaai: Bridal send off
23. Griha Pravesh: The bride enters her marital home
24. Reception: Post wedding celebrations
25. Panch Pavan: Wedding feast served on the fifth day after the wedding
  The Engagement:

After the horoscopes of the bride and groom are matched and the decision is made for them to marry, a formal engagement ceremony is held. An auspicious date is determined by the 'pujari' (priest), and the bride's parents host the event. This is called the 'mahurat'. Their home is decorated with flowers and mango leaves and 'rangoli' patterns are made on the floor. 'Rangoli' is coloured powder.

The groom arrives with his family and perhaps some close family friends and the bride's parents welcome them.
 
  The groom's parents bless the bride and gift her a 'sari', some jewellery and flowers for her hair. The bride leaves to change into the 'sari' and wear the jewellery gifted to her.

The bride's parents also bless the groom and give him a suit, a watch and other gifts. They also have gifts for his parents, usually clothes. The bride now returns, adorned in all her finery.

The couple exchanges rings after which, five 'sumangalis' (married ladies) perform the 'aarti' for them and all the elders present bless them.

The groom's parents distribute 'pedhas' (traditional Maharashtrian sweetmeats) to the guests. Depending upon the time, light refreshments or a vegetarian dinner is served.

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Vyahi Bhojan:
The groom's family invites the bride's family for a meal

On any auspicious day before the wedding the groom's parents invite the bride's parents and other family members for a meal. If the family lives in another city, then this event takes place one day prior to the wedding and is hosted in a marriage hall.

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Grahamak / Nav Grahi Shanti Puja: Invoking harmony within the planets

This 'puja' is performed separately in both homes. A 'homa' or sacred fire is lit and the 'nav grahi shanti puja' (puja of the nine planets) is conducted.

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Bangdi Bharan: The bangle ceremony

This ceremony is held two days before the wedding, in the bride's home. The 'bangadiwala' or bangle seller is called home. The bride's mother gives him edible leaves, a coconut and one coin. He first slips the green bangles on the bride's wrist. The bangles have to be uneven in number. The bride's parents may also present her with gold bangles, which are also slipped onto her wrist by the 'bangdiwalla'. The other ladies present at this occasion also adorn their wrists with green glass bangles.

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Mehendi: The henna ceremony  ( mehendi designs )

Though this is not a traditional Maharashtrian ceremony, it is popular and incorporated into wedding celebrations by many families. Henna paste is applied on the palms and feet of the bride by professional henna artists or 'mehendiwalis' in intricate patterns and left on for several hours to dry and for the colour to develop into a deep red. The bride's female friends and relatives also have the henna paste applied to the palms of their hands.

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  : Kelvan :The bride's last meal as a maiden in her parental home

The bride is seated at a table which has been decorated with 'rangoli', patterns made from coloured powder and lentils, in the midst of which is a silver 'thaali' (platter) specially laid out for her.

Her mother probably makes her favourite dishes on this day. The families of the bride and the groom are ceremonially invited by various friends and relatives to have a meal at a get-together known as `Kelvan'.
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Seemant Pujan and Vaang Nischayam:
Honouring the groom

On the day prior to the wedding the bride's mother washes the groom's feet in a silver platter or 'thaali'. The 'varadakshina' or groom's offering is given to him. Married ladies from the bride's family perform an 'aarti' for him. His mother's feet are also washed and she is presented with a sari.

The fathers of the bride and groom formally agree to the alliance and the elders from both families are introduced to each other and gifts are exchanged. If the bride has an older, married sister, her husband's feet are also washed and both of them receive gifts.

The groom's parents gift a sari, jewellery and 'saubhagya abhushanas' (ornaments for a married lady) to the bride. The married ladies from the groom's family perform an 'aarti' for the bride;

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Ghana Bharan and Haldi: Beautification rituals

On the morning of the wedding day the bride and her parents are seated on a wooden plank or 'pat'. Married ladies or 'sumangalis' pound wheat with a wooden rod called 'musal'. The bride and her parents offer prayers to the deities to ensure that the wedding rituals are devoid of any impediments and everything goes smoothly.

After that, a mixture of 'haldi' (turmeric) and oil is applied on the hands, feet and faces of the bride and groom (separately in both homes). The paste is applied with mango leaves dipped in it.

Next, the bride and groom bathe and dress up for the Dev Devak 'puja'.

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Dev Devak: Divine blessings are sought from the family deity

The days leading up to the wedding are filled with religious and social customs. As with any auspicious occasion, divine blessings are sought before embarking on festivities.

Each of the families has one particular deity they worship and the worship of this family deity is called 'Devkarya'. The bride and her parents and the groom and his parents in their home perform this 'puja' separately.

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  Gauri Haar Puja: The bride performs a 'puja' for Goddess Gauri

The goddess Gauri (Parvati) was considered the perfect wife. As an Aryan princess marrying a non-Aryan, Lord Shiva, she merged herself completely with an alien culture and the unfamiliar lifestyle of her husband's family.

When the bride is ready for the wedding she sits on a low stool at the shrine and begins a continuous worship of Lord Shiva and his wife Parvati. On a 'chowki' (low stool) in front of her is a platter of rice on top of which rests a small silver figure of Parvati. The bride collects rice in her hands and pours it over the idol saying 'Gauri,
 
  Gauri sowbhagya de' (Gauri, Gauri, bless me with a lifelong marriage)'. She repeats this ritual until the 'mahurat', the auspicious time for the wedding. This ritual is performed at the venue of the wedding.

 

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Varaat: The wedding procession

In preparation for his wedding, the groom wears a silk 'dhoti' (a waist to ankle length silk fabric with borders) and an 'angavastram' (stole) across his shoulders. Traditionally he is supposed to go bare chested, but these days most men prefer to wear a 'kurta' (long shirt) along with the 'dhoti'. Like the bride he also wears a 'mundavali' framing his face. His headgear is the Maharashtrian cap or a turban. On his arrival at the bride's home he and his relatives are awarded the traditional 'aarti' welcome.

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Rukhavat: Breakfast is served to the groom and his close relatives

After the 'aarti' the groom and his procession are served a traditional Maharashtrian breakfast called 'rukhavat'.

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Lagna Mahurat: The wedding ceremony - divided into following segments:

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Varmala: The couple exchanges garlands

After the 'rukhavat', the bride's mother puts some 'ghee' or clarified butter in the groom's palms, which he is supposed to eat. He is then given a decorated coconut and escorted to the 'mandap' (platform erected for the wedding rites). The

bride's parents and other members from her family wash the feet of the groom, his parents and close relatives before the wedding ceremony can begin.

The bride is brought to the 'mandap' while her mother retreats to the shrine where her daughter was praying to the Goddess Gauri and continues the worship of the deity. The bride's mother is not allowed to witness the couple garlanding each other. The bride stands on the 'pat' (wooden plank) in the west, facing east. The priests begin the chanting of the 'mangal ashtaka' (eight wedding verses), a narrative especially written for this wedding, explaining the process of the wedding, introducing the bride and groom and also containing advice for the couple on how to live a happy married life. Each of these recitations ends with a 'shubha mangala savdhan', which alerts everyone that the 'shubh mahurat' (auspicious time for the wedding) is approaching.

The priest then chants a 'mantra' from the Vedas invoking power from the forces of nature, strength from the planets and blessings from the Almighty. The silk cloth, which was separating the couple, is pulled away by the priests towards the north and the bride garlands the groom, who in turn garlands her. The guests assembled, shower them with rice mixed with 'kumkum' (vermilion).

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Kanyadaan: Giving away the bride

According to rites prescribed in ancient Vedic texts, the bride's father takes the groom's right hand with his own right hand and places it over his daughter's right hand. The priest trickles water on the connected hands, symbolic of 'the gift' being handed over.
 
 

Bride's father: "I give you this goddess-like daughter of mine to take as
your own".
Groom, placing his right hand on bride's right shoulder: "I accept your
daughter for the fulfillment of my life."
Bride's father: "Do not exploit my daughter while fulfilling your life".
Groom: "I shall not exploit her". This he says three times, affirming
his vows.

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  Mangalsutra: The groom ties the 'mangalsutra' on the bride

At the exact auspicious time indicated by the priests, the groom's ties the 'mangalsutra' around the bride's neck. The necklace of black beads strung on gold is symbolic of the perpetual union of the couple. While tying the necklace, the groom says "With this sacred thread I entrust my life to you and will protect and care for you for a hundred years."
 
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  Paani Grahan: The groom vows to look after his wife

The bride and groom face each other and he places his palm on hers while he invokes the gods and the forces of nature saying: "Blessed bride, I accept your hand - may we prosper and grow old together".
 
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Lajja Hom: Sacrifice offered to the sacred fire

The bride's brother gives his sister two fistfuls of 'lahaya' (puffed rice). The groom guides the bride's hands and the puffed rice is consigned to the sacred fire, while the priests invoke the Gods by chanting Vedic hymns. This signifies the bridegroom asking the bride to merge completely with her new family.
 

 
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  Saptapadi: Seven steps around the sacred fire

Seven handfuls of rice are placed in the northern periphery of the 'mandap'. As the groom leads the bride to each pile, she places her right toe on it, while he says:

'With this first step be the giver of food'.
'With this second step be the source of strength'.
'With this third step be my prosperity'.
'With this fourth step be my source of happiness'.
'With this fifth step be the mother of our children'.
'With this sixth step be my companion in all seasons'.
'With this seventh step be my friend forever'

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Ashirwaad: The blessing

The couple is showered with rice again while the priests continue the recitation of prescribed Vedic hymns, repeated by the groom. The couple touches the feet of all the family members who are older than them and accept blessings from them.

 

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Wedding Feast: Traditional meal served on banana leaves

Even if the lunch is served buffet-style, special arrangements are made to seat the groom's family. The newly wed couple first go around and greet all the guests, serving them sweetmeats, and only after that do they proceed to partake of the meal.

A Maharashtrian wedding feast is worth waiting for!
After the marriage is solemnized, guests sit down to a traditional meal served on banana leaves. Most 'mahurats' are scheduled for the morning therefore the meal served is usually a lunch. The feast is a vegetarian one devoid of onions and garlic and consists of a selection of vegetables prepared in coconut gravy and accompanied by green mango chutney, cucumber and peanut salad, rice, 'puris', golden 'dal' (lentils) called `varan' and a sweet dish like 'jalebi', creamy 'basundi' or saffron-scented 'shrikhand'. 'Mattha' or coriander-flavoured salted buttermilk complements the meal, which ends with a sweet `paan' called `vida'.

 

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Vidaai: Bridal send off

The groom goes to the shrine where his bride had earlier worshipped Goddess Gauri and takes the figure of the deity with him. The couple bid farewell to the bride's parents and family and leave in a decorated car. A few members from the bride's family escort her to her marital home.

 

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Griha Pravesh: The bride enters her marital home

The groom's mother and sister receive the bridal couple at the doorstep. His older sister performs a brief 'aarti' with a lighted oil lamp for them. The bride is then made to kick over a grain measure filled with rice. This symbolizes her bringing prosperity into the house. A little sugar is put into her mouth as a good omen.

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Reception: Post wedding celebrations

Though this is not a social requirement, many families choose to host a reception to celebrate the wedding and introduce the bride and groom to their friends, family and even business associates. This may either be a simple affair or as elaborate an event as desired, hosted in a hotel venue with a live band and gourmet food.

 

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Panch Pavan: Wedding feast served on the fifth day after the wedding

On the fifth day after the marriage the bride's family invites the groom's family for a big feast.

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