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> Rituals & Customs > Brahmin
wedding
Kokanastha Brahmin Wedding
List of Ceremonies :
1. Engagement:
2. Vyahi
Bhojan: The groom's family invites the bride's family for a
meal
3.
Grahamak / Nav Grahi Shanti Puja: Invoking harmony within
the planets
4. Bangdi
Bharan: The bangle ceremony
5. Mehendi:
The henna ceremony
6. Kelvan:
The bride's last meal as a maiden in her parental home
7. Seemant
Pujan and Vaang Nischayam: Honouring the groom
8. Ghana
Bharan and Haldi: Beautification rituals
9. Dev
Devak: Divine blessings are sought from the family deity
10. Gauri
Haar Puja: The bride performs a 'puja' for Goddess Gauri
11. Varaat:
The wedding procession
12. Rukhavat:
Breakfast is served to the groom and his close relatives
13. Lagna
Mahurat: The wedding ceremony - divided into following
segments:
14. a) Varmala:
The couple exchanges garlands
15. b) Kanyadaan:
Giving away the bride
16. c) Mangalsutra:
The groom ties the 'mangalsutra' on the bride
17. d) Paani
Grahan: The groom vows to look after his wife
18. e)
Lajja Hom: Sacrifice offered to the sacred fire
19. f) Saptapadi:
Seven steps around the sacred fire
20. g) Ashirwaad:
The blessing
21.
Wedding feast: Traditional meal served on banana leaves
22. Vidaai:
Bridal send off
23. Griha
Pravesh: The bride enters her marital home
24. Reception:
Post wedding celebrations
25. Panch
Pavan: Wedding feast served on the fifth day after the
wedding
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The
Engagement:
After the horoscopes of the bride and groom are matched and the
decision is made for them to marry, a formal engagement ceremony
is held. An auspicious date is determined by the 'pujari'
(priest), and the bride's parents host the event. This is called
the 'mahurat'. Their home is decorated with flowers and mango
leaves and 'rangoli' patterns are made on the floor. 'Rangoli'
is coloured powder.
The groom arrives with his family and perhaps some close family
friends and the bride's parents welcome them. |
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The groom's parents bless
the bride and gift her a 'sari', some jewellery and flowers for
her hair. The bride leaves to change into the 'sari' and wear
the jewellery gifted to her.
The bride's parents also bless the groom and give him a suit, a
watch and other gifts. They also have gifts for his parents,
usually clothes. The bride now returns, adorned in all her
finery.
The couple exchanges rings after which, five 'sumangalis'
(married ladies) perform the 'aarti' for them and all the elders
present bless them.
The groom's parents distribute 'pedhas' (traditional
Maharashtrian sweetmeats) to the guests. Depending upon the
time, light refreshments or a vegetarian dinner is served.
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Vyahi Bhojan:
The groom's family invites the bride's family for a meal
On any auspicious day before the wedding the groom's parents
invite the bride's parents and other family members for a meal.
If the family lives in another city, then this event takes place
one day prior to the wedding and is hosted in a marriage hall.
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Grahamak
/ Nav Grahi Shanti Puja: Invoking harmony
within the planets
This 'puja' is performed separately in both homes. A 'homa' or
sacred fire is lit and the 'nav grahi shanti puja' (puja of the
nine planets) is conducted.
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Bangdi
Bharan: The bangle ceremony
This ceremony is held two days before the wedding, in the
bride's home. The 'bangadiwala' or bangle seller is called home.
The bride's mother gives him edible leaves, a coconut and one
coin. He first slips the green bangles on the bride's wrist. The
bangles have to be uneven in number. The bride's parents may
also present her with gold bangles, which are also slipped onto
her wrist by the 'bangdiwalla'. The other ladies present at this
occasion also adorn their wrists with green glass bangles.
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Mehendi:
The henna ceremony ( mehendi designs
)
Though this is not a traditional Maharashtrian ceremony, it is
popular and incorporated into wedding celebrations by many
families. Henna paste is applied on the palms and feet of the
bride by professional henna artists or 'mehendiwalis' in
intricate patterns and left on for several hours to dry and for
the colour to develop into a deep red. The bride's female
friends and relatives also have the henna paste applied to the
palms of their hands.
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Kelvan :The bride's last
meal as a maiden in her parental home
The bride is seated at a table which has been decorated with 'rangoli',
patterns made from coloured powder and lentils, in the midst of
which is a silver 'thaali' (platter) specially laid out for her.
Her mother probably makes her favourite dishes on this day. The
families of the bride and the groom are ceremonially invited by
various friends and relatives to have a meal at a get-together
known as `Kelvan'.
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Seemant Pujan and Vaang
Nischayam: Honouring the groom
On the day prior to the wedding the bride's mother washes the
groom's feet in a silver platter or 'thaali'. The 'varadakshina'
or groom's offering is given to him. Married ladies from the
bride's family perform an 'aarti' for him. His mother's feet are
also washed and she is presented with a sari.
The fathers of the bride and groom formally agree to the
alliance and the elders from both families are introduced to
each other and gifts are exchanged. If the bride has an older,
married sister, her husband's feet are also washed and both of
them receive gifts.
The groom's parents gift a sari, jewellery and 'saubhagya
abhushanas' (ornaments for a married lady) to the bride. The
married ladies from the groom's family perform an 'aarti' for
the bride;
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Ghana
Bharan and Haldi: Beautification rituals
On the morning of the wedding day the bride and her parents are
seated on a wooden plank or 'pat'. Married ladies or 'sumangalis'
pound wheat with a wooden rod called 'musal'. The bride and her
parents offer prayers to the deities to ensure that the wedding
rituals are devoid of any impediments and everything goes
smoothly.
After that, a mixture of 'haldi' (turmeric) and oil is applied
on the hands, feet and faces of the bride and groom (separately
in both homes). The paste is applied with mango leaves dipped in
it.
Next, the bride and groom bathe and dress up for the Dev Devak 'puja'.
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Dev
Devak: Divine blessings are sought from the
family deity
The days leading up to the wedding are filled with religious and
social customs. As with any auspicious occasion, divine
blessings are sought before embarking on festivities.
Each of the families has one particular deity they worship
and the worship of this family deity is called 'Devkarya'. The
bride and her parents and the groom and his parents in their
home perform this 'puja' separately.
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Gauri
Haar Puja: The bride performs a 'puja' for
Goddess Gauri
The goddess Gauri (Parvati) was considered the perfect wife. As
an Aryan princess marrying a non-Aryan, Lord Shiva, she merged
herself completely with an alien culture and the unfamiliar
lifestyle of her husband's family.
When the bride is ready for the wedding she sits on a low stool
at the shrine and begins a continuous worship of Lord Shiva and
his wife Parvati. On a 'chowki' (low stool) in front of her is a
platter of rice on top of which rests a small silver figure of
Parvati. The bride collects rice in her hands and pours it over
the idol saying 'Gauri, |
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Gauri sowbhagya
de' (Gauri, Gauri, bless me with a lifelong marriage)'. She
repeats this ritual until the 'mahurat', the auspicious time for
the wedding. This ritual is performed at the venue of the
wedding.
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Varaat: The wedding
procession
In preparation for his wedding, the groom wears a silk 'dhoti'
(a waist to ankle length silk fabric with borders) and an 'angavastram'
(stole) across his shoulders. Traditionally he is supposed to go
bare chested, but these days most men prefer to wear a 'kurta'
(long shirt) along with the 'dhoti'. Like the bride he also
wears a 'mundavali' framing his face. His headgear is the
Maharashtrian cap or a turban. On his arrival at the bride's
home he and his relatives are awarded the traditional 'aarti'
welcome.
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Rukhavat: Breakfast is
served to the groom and his close relatives
After the 'aarti' the groom and his procession are served a
traditional Maharashtrian breakfast called 'rukhavat'.
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Lagna
Mahurat:
The wedding ceremony - divided into following segments:
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Varmala:
The couple exchanges garlands
After the 'rukhavat', the bride's mother puts some 'ghee' or
clarified butter in the groom's palms, which he is supposed to
eat. He is then given a decorated coconut and escorted to the 'mandap'
(platform erected for the wedding rites). The
bride's parents and other members from her family wash the feet
of the groom, his parents and close relatives before the wedding
ceremony can begin.
The bride is brought to the 'mandap' while her mother retreats
to the shrine where her daughter was praying to the Goddess
Gauri and continues the worship of the deity. The bride's mother
is not allowed to witness the couple garlanding each other. The
bride stands on the 'pat' (wooden plank) in the west, facing
east. The priests begin the chanting of the 'mangal ashtaka'
(eight wedding verses), a narrative especially written for this
wedding, explaining the process of the wedding, introducing the
bride and groom and also containing advice for the couple on how
to live a happy married life. Each of these recitations ends
with a 'shubha mangala savdhan', which alerts everyone that the
'shubh mahurat' (auspicious time for the wedding) is
approaching.
The priest then chants a 'mantra' from the Vedas invoking power
from the forces of nature, strength from the planets and
blessings from the Almighty. The silk cloth, which was
separating the couple, is pulled away by the priests towards the
north and the bride garlands the groom, who in turn garlands
her. The guests assembled, shower them with rice mixed with 'kumkum'
(vermilion).
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Kanyadaan:
Giving away the bride
According to rites prescribed in ancient Vedic texts, the
bride's father takes the groom's right hand with his own right
hand and places it over his daughter's right hand. The priest
trickles water on the connected hands, symbolic of 'the gift'
being handed over. |
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Bride's father: "I give you this
goddess-like daughter of mine to take as
your own".
Groom, placing his right hand on bride's right shoulder: "I
accept your
daughter for the fulfillment of my life."
Bride's father: "Do not exploit my daughter while
fulfilling your life".
Groom: "I shall not exploit her". This he says three
times, affirming
his vows.
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Mangalsutra:
The groom ties the 'mangalsutra' on the bride
At the exact auspicious time indicated by the priests, the
groom's ties the 'mangalsutra' around the bride's neck. The
necklace of black beads strung on gold is symbolic of the
perpetual union of the couple. While tying the necklace, the
groom says "With this sacred thread I entrust my life to
you and will protect and care for you for a hundred years." |
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Paani
Grahan: The groom vows to look after his wife
The bride and groom face each other and he places his palm on
hers while he invokes the gods and the forces of nature saying:
"Blessed bride, I accept your hand - may we prosper and
grow old together". |
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Lajja
Hom: Sacrifice offered to the sacred fire
The bride's brother gives his sister two fistfuls of 'lahaya'
(puffed rice). The groom guides the bride's hands and the puffed
rice is consigned to the sacred fire, while the priests invoke
the Gods by chanting Vedic hymns. This signifies the bridegroom
asking the bride to merge completely with her new family.
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Saptapadi:
Seven steps around the sacred fire
Seven handfuls of rice are placed in the northern periphery of
the 'mandap'. As the groom leads the bride to each pile, she
places her right toe on it, while he says:
'With this first step be the giver of food'.
'With this second step be the source of strength'.
'With this third step be my prosperity'.
'With this fourth step be my source of happiness'.
'With this fifth step be the mother of our children'.
'With this sixth step be my companion in all seasons'.
'With this seventh step be my friend forever'
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Ashirwaad:
The blessing
The couple is showered with rice again while the priests
continue the recitation of prescribed Vedic hymns, repeated by
the groom. The couple touches the feet of all the family members
who are older than them and accept blessings from them.
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Wedding
Feast:
Traditional meal served on banana leaves
Even if the lunch is served buffet-style, special arrangements
are made to seat the groom's family. The newly wed couple first
go around and greet all the guests, serving them sweetmeats, and
only after that do they proceed to partake of the meal.
A Maharashtrian wedding feast is worth waiting for!
After the marriage is solemnized, guests sit down to a
traditional meal served on banana leaves. Most 'mahurats' are
scheduled for the morning therefore the meal served is usually a
lunch. The feast is a vegetarian one devoid of onions and garlic
and consists of a selection of vegetables prepared in coconut
gravy and accompanied by green mango chutney, cucumber and
peanut salad, rice, 'puris', golden 'dal' (lentils) called `varan'
and a sweet dish like 'jalebi', creamy 'basundi' or
saffron-scented 'shrikhand'. 'Mattha' or coriander-flavoured
salted buttermilk complements the meal, which ends with a sweet
`paan' called `vida'.
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Vidaai: Bridal send
off
The groom goes to the shrine where his bride had earlier
worshipped Goddess Gauri and takes the figure of the deity with
him. The couple bid farewell to the bride's parents and family
and leave in a decorated car. A few members from the bride's
family escort her to her marital home.
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Griha
Pravesh: The
bride enters her marital home
The groom's mother and sister receive the bridal couple at the
doorstep. His older sister performs a brief 'aarti' with a
lighted oil lamp for them. The bride is then made to kick over a
grain measure filled with rice. This symbolizes her bringing
prosperity into the house. A little sugar is put into her mouth
as a good omen.
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Reception: Post
wedding celebrations
Though this is not a social requirement, many families choose to
host a reception to celebrate the wedding and introduce the
bride and groom to their friends, family and even business
associates. This may either be a simple affair or as elaborate
an event as desired, hosted in a hotel venue with a live band
and gourmet food.
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Panch
Pavan: Wedding
feast served on the fifth day after the wedding
On the fifth day after the marriage the bride's family invites
the groom's family for a big feast.
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